A BRIEF DESCRIPTION, ORGANIZED BY INSEAM LENGTH, OF THE SHORTS TOM SELLECK WEARS IN THREE MEN AND A BABY

McSweeney’s is joyous. And they allowed me to contribute this ridiculous bit of joy. Tom Selleck’s shorts are their own character in “Three Men & A Baby.” The full piece is here.

2:34 into the movie. Tom Selleck jogs in a pair of white hot pants that bounce uncomfortably and a beach blue tank top. This outfit calls into question the idea that you’re watching a family movie. He jogs in place and chats up a female jogger heading the other way before they run off together. These shorts are only missing the catcalls of New York construction workers.